Tuesday, January 17, 2012

The iO West Popcorn arrested for prostitution

The iO West Popcorn and his prostitute pals
If you thought that the travails of the iO West popcorn couldn’t get any worse – between an ultimately unsuccessful romp in rehab and a panicked break south of the border fence, then you were wrong. Things got worse.

TMZ has reported that the iO West Popcorn, along with a few of his newly acquired cross-dressing popcorn pals, was arrested for soliciting sexual services inside the Diego Rivera museum in Guanajuato, México.

As you might expect, the iO West Popcorn, being an artistic soul, was assuming a central position atop La Catrina’s hat while simultaneously holding a few other positions on La Catrina’s sacrum coccyx and Frida Kahlo’s neck, when he was approached by what appeared to be a Juan but was not. The Juan was a cop, but not your typical cop. He was an art cop.

Now, art police don’t usually have jurisdiction over prostitution, but because the bulk of this particular solicitation, which was part performance piece and part pathetic plea for sex pro quo, took place on a mural (or a copy of a mural), the art cops are the only authorities with the creds to do the job. (Or to do the job to a knob who was offering to do a job on another knob who lost his job in the revolution.)

What terrible luck the iO West Popcorn has! ¡Una suerte horrible!

Along with the iO West Popcorn was Natalia, whose real name is Ned, and who is also an ex-pat, and who was reported to have reported, “I can’t believe we got caught almost doing what el diós intended, which was to love. Or at least to pretend to love. And pretend to swallow and stomach and repeat that love for a paltry price, which is really nothing more than an exchange of energy...” (Natalia/Ned pontificated more but was then bludgeoned.)

So, what was TMZ doing in Guanajuato, you wonder, and you wouldn’t be the first. It turns out that executive producer Harvey Levin has a town in México. Not a house but a town. And he visits the neighboring towns to make sure that his town is winning on all counts.

In fact, when he and his crew were in Guanajuato to count all the colorful houses to make sure that his town, which is rumored to have been named Soy Abogado Alegre has more of them, he stumbled upon the Diego and voila!

So, what does the future hold for the iO West popcorn now that he is in the hands of the art police?

Well, if his relatives in the U.S. – either his brother at the Roosevelt or his kin at the iO West bar, don’t bark up enough bite to have him extradited (and Mr. Levin might be poised to help expedite the extradite), then it might be Mexican prison for the popcorn star.

And Mexican prison could prove to be dangerous. Have you seen what Mexicans do to popcorn?

Disclaimer: Harvey Levin doesn't own a town in México named Soy Abogado Alegre. Yet.

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