Saturday, January 7, 2012

The iO West Popcorn gone missing, investigators looking for leads

As tenacious fate would have it, after reading my interview with the iO West Popcorn Thursday night, the iO West Popcorn, shamed and visibly upset, fled Cliffside Malibu by taxi, was dropped at Ocean and Pacific Terrace in Santa Monica, according to a witness staying at Loews Santa Monica Beach Hotel, and has since not been seen by anyone.

A senior staff member at Cliffside said the iO West Popcorn left at approximately 11:25pm Thursday wearing cotton pajamas, a Dodgers cap with a missing “A,” and a pair of oversized shoes that resembled, at least in color scheme, bowling shoes.

The staff member said the iO West Popcorn dashed out the front door and hopped into a cab, which zoomed speedily down the narrow, winding drive. Because the iO West Popcorn was technically a resident at Cliffside Malibu rehabilitation facility of his own volition, there was no authority to call in to stymie his departure.

The iO West Popcorn’s closest sibling, Popcorn with Truffles and Parmesan, has expected that the iO West Popcorn would contact him but has so far received no calls.

Residents of the Greater Los Angeles Area are asked to keep their eyes peeled for the iO West Popcorn. He is not considered to be dangerous. He is in fact quite beloved. There are many, many friends, relatives and fans from all over the Los Angeles area who eagerly await his return.

If you have any knowledge of the iO West Popcorn’s whereabouts, you are asked to contact authorities at the iO West bar – preferably in person.

Please do not instead go to the Roosevelt Hotel to speak with his brother Popcorn with Truffles and Parmesan for he is simply too choked up.

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